was rather depressed for the past few days..finally overcome it slightly todae...

maybe coz tml is my last day of work?
maybe coz i know there are frenz who are worried abt mi?
maybe coz my overseas trip is coming?
maybe coz todae i had a free n nice lunch?
maybe coz of the nice music that I'm listening to todae?
maybe coz i juz managed to lie to myself n start to feel happy?
maybe coz i'm not that tired todae?
maybe coz i was super slack at work todae?

Thanks Shiyun, for ur endless accompany...
Thanks Yanling, for chatting wif mi when i was starting to feel depressed...
Thanks Haoyang, for ur phone call when I was depressed that time...
Thanks Bohan, for understanding how i felt and tried to cheer me up...
Thanks Weicong, for crapping with me when I was bored...
Thanks Debbie, for the virtual hugs...
Thanks Kien Fee, for ur enlightening tag posting...

Normal frenz. Good frenz. Best frenz.
Why must there be so many types of frenz? Why cant we juz treat all our frenz equally? I haf frenz. Lots of them. But how many reallie close one? hahah....think maybe only 1 or 2 ba..

Actually, wad are frenz for? To bring comfort, joy and laughter to your life? Or to bring in sadness and sorrow? Someone to share ur happiness only? Or are they able to share ur sadness as well? Maybe coz of wad different pple bringing to u different feelings, we are able to classified them into different types ba.

Remember we once love to write in autograph book abt how much u actually treasure that particular frenz? Remember writing about frenz forever as well? Remember writing abt msg like forget me not? How many of you reallie still keep in touch with them regularly??They are all juz lies!!Something to create a false image of how "good" you are to them only.

Gaining 1 more frenz somewhere in ur life does it mean u will be losing 1 existing frenz? Coz we might not haf enuff time to ever meet up again as often as in the past? So maybe the number of frenz that u haf thru out ur life is a constant amount from the guage of how well u can manage ur time. So it juz seems like, either writing on the sand for the wave to clear it off easily, or they come n stay in your heart like how u engrave onto something, be there forever!

Maybe I'm the type who juz come n go fast. That's why my frenz are of the this type also? Maybe I duno how to be a frenz who is good enuff to engrave on their life? That's why my frenz find it no pt to do the same as well?

Frenz....
How does "Best Frenz Forever" works?
Frenz....

Alot of things happened for the past few days. One of the most enjoyable time will be the night I get to see the sky filled wif stars!!!! Very nice!!!!!!!!!Saw that in JB at duno wad Bay...hehe...cant remember the name already. Reallie very nice. Furthermore when i get back to ntu, i also saw quite alot of stars lehz. The sky was meant for me one! The stars know that I'm feeling moody recently that's why they turned up to brighten my life! So much abt stars. Shall tok abt wad i did le....

Thurs worked at NEC. Very relax and funz handling all the high tech AV equipments. Then went yoga lesson. It was reallie a tough one. Did lots of stretching. Till now still can feel the strain on my lousy weak muscle. As for fri, went medical center to get med for my coming tour. Then went shop ard. It was juz a day filled wif food n food n more food. Breakfast at mac, lunch at Jack's place, dinner was a durian feast. Juz kept eating only. Nothing but eat. Eat until wanna puke siahz.

Sat woke up early to go JB. wasted a lot of time waiting to get pass as usual. It was very hot when we were waiting. However, the minute we get pass, it started to rain, heavily! Juz walk ard in the city sq shopping ctr. Sibing n I was so disppointed that we didnt see the quiksilver and adidas shop there!!!!! Went KTV also. The room was super smelly siahz. Totally filled wif 2nd hand smoke. Can reallie feel that my lungs were getting more n more black harz. Coz i juz kept coughing in there to the pt that i had headache lorz. Then went to a shopping center specially for DVDs/VCDs and games. Then to the duno wad Bay for dinner. Kinda wasted that we didnt eat seafood lehz. but nvm lahz.

Todae, by right haf to work. But then last minute cancel off. So end up come back to sleep coz too tired. But they cut off the electricity siahz. Then no choice but to leave hall. Went esplanade lib and rot till Shiyun finish her service to join her for dinner. Then shop ard and back to hall again. Juz recieved daddy's call. So sweet of him. This call reallie cheer mi up a little siahz. Not forgetting laopa's listening ears as well!!! Thanks!!!!!!!!!! They reallie made my day siahz!!!!! kinda happy now suddenly. Not as moody for once!

tml going for sushi buffet. Think will not be worth it for mi anymore. Coz i dont eat that much already! Old already. Old pple dont eat that much. Tonight's dinner i also cant finish lorz...haiz...lousy mi..

Since this post is titled to be a bz agenda, it shldnt be a matter of when all these activities happened or will be happening. Shall include all the bz days that i remember. hehhee...

Juz last fri, met up wif my NYJC-CO frenz. So long never see them already. Think its like around 7 months since we last met. All of us were so busy wif our studies, practise, performances and problem due to different free time as usual. Met up at swensen for dinner and to a small cafe in suntec to chat. Jialin so poor thing. Always the one to kanna "shoot" and "suan" by guys. No matter which guy also will do this to her unless that guy is reallie reallie that shy. hahah...Get lots of free gift coz some of them juz came back from vacation. Got a few bars of chocolate from switerzland and a bottle of honey plus keychain from australia. Interesting outing filled wif interesting topics. Chat from our past, to present and to the future. To the extend of planning job, job hopping, even retirement!!ahhaha. A few of them will be graduating this year. So happy for them. But at the same time worry for them to be jobless fellow.

Sat went for a performance at dunno wad hotel. The stupid bus ride was so stuffy and hot till I felt like puking. Such a hot afternoon making me feeling so tired as well. Dinner wasnt that good. Performances wasnt that gd either but at least better than wad happened on thurs. hehee...after performance I juz rush home coz i was too tired already. Heard that they went for a free supper! gd life siahz...I miss out the funz...again.

As for sun, went for pract as usual. But it end up to be session. Kind of boring but at least we can train up wad we are weak in. Then rush off to chinatown to buy air tic all these for my BK and Pattaya trip. Frenz took a long time to decide which package to take up. Finally done, rush off to orchard to buy evening gown for my sis's wedding. Search all the shops in wisma, taka, all the way till Heeren. Finally found one. Same design as my younger sis but of a different colour. Mine in purple(yayaa....gay colour) sis in off white like beige one. We bring out different beauty of the gown. She has the active sweet look whereas I being the more mature n slight more ladylike figure one, the gown look more of the feminie side lorz...BUT I'm short..hahaha....

So far till now, i only off work then watch VCDs lorz..nothing much....but thurs going to sch...fri going medical checkup...sat going JB...Sun working...tue meeting my frenz who will be coming to spore...and soon it will be 2nd july!!! My overseas trip!!(but will be missing out CO chalet le..) hehhe...will update on that at a later date then...

I'll be ending work in around 2 wks time. Will be going to BK n pattaya for holiday. I wonder why i dont feel happy and excited at all. Juz feeling so moody now. Dont reallie feel like talking at all. Dont feel like doing anything also. Why izzit so?haiz...

remembered i juz said that there isnt any chalet for me this holiday? Now there is. But i cant go. Reallie very sad lorz...My one n only chalet this holiday yet i cant go coz i wont be in spore that time. Alot feel that i very weird. But I juz dont like the feeling of being unable to join in any funz especially wif all my gd buddies. So sad... =(

-trying hard to smile-

duno wad to write actually. Not much mood to reallie think of wad to write. Or rather, my coconut water has evaporated already. Nothing left to think. Suddenly juz feel so weird. Also duno how to describe it. juz not feeling happy nor sad. Like so calm. Calm till i find it weird. Is it because, i was rather bz for the past few wk and now when i haf some time of my own in hostel, I juz cant adapt to it?

Something seems to be missing this holiday. Missing out some real funz coz i'm working since end of exams. Where are all the chalet gathering? tot it used to be so popular every holiday? why this time round no one organise? Miss the time bbq-ing, chatting overnight, playing like mad type of life!

I miss the sea....miss the sand..miss the sky that's filled wif stars...miss the wind/land breeze...miss the sound of the wave...miss everything that can make mi smile from the bottom of my heart....

erm...maybe i shld buy a pic of the wad i miss n paste it in my room........

This wkend only ate at home on fri night and sun morning. But so sad cox i only ate rice dumpling. No nice veggi n soup.nvm at least those rice dumpling are home made one.

Fri night is the worse encounter i had so far wif my family member. My mother was juz away from home since after lunch, and my grandma keep asking me where she go and wad time she will be back. The keep asking me to eat this n eat that. It lasted the whole night. Each statement/ question was repeated every 15minutes or so. She asked me when I was watching tv, playing computer games, reading I-weekly. Practically everytime she see me, she will ask the same qn!!! I was like so pissed off yet cant blow my anger. Its juz feel so erxin. Erxin until I decided to nua on the bed as if I'm sleeping or juz hide myself in the room. Like very bad horz? But no choice lehz...buay tahan le...ren from 6pm till 10pm le. Think very gd le lorz. Wonder will I be so naggy in future? Wonder will pple juz cant stand me? Wonder if I'm already this type of person..

sat morning went for dim sum buffet. Not that nice actually. Can say not worth the money lah. Best of all, most of us were late. Hehee...crap alot thru the buffet, and the guys juz cant stop talking abt their NS life as usual. Making me and mummy super bored. And after that, they start talking abt CO stuff n some pple in CO. HAAHAH....think they reallie got a fright when they heard one of the CO pple's behaviour...haha..After buffet went to Funan to walk walk see see. Bringing an IT idiot to an IT mall is the wrong choice lorz. I juz cant find anything interesting there. Everything look the same to me lorz. And we rot until almot 5 or 6pm there juz become daddy wanna prove that thomas will appear for the kids roadshow there! and i heard a super nice CD. Hope weicong can help me get it. Think the title is jazz meet cube or something like that. hehhe..after dinner at suntec food court, juz walk ard till go home lorz..super tired siahz...that day got midnight sales but me juz no energy to see see look look anymore. so lousy..hai....

Sun, as usual went practice. Sibing came also!!! but todae's practice is rather stress lehz. conductor juz keep arrowing every section to play. Not gd enuff will be kanna nag. think the only section that pass wif juz 1 attempt is the GAOHU section. Aiya they so gd...the few best erhu players that kanna promote to gaohu one mahz....of coz got standard lahz...hehee..As for erhu section, lucky shengyong was ard to lead. If not think also will die one. After pract went shop n bought some tee shirt then go watch concert lorz. As usual, some songs can understand, some cannot. But overall still okie lahz...mi also got no right to comment. ehehe...after eating the not nice rice at sim lim food court, went shopping again. But this round didnt buy anything. Juz look look see see lorz.. I wanna get my 1st billabong tee lehz!!! I WAN I WAN!! shall put it on my wish list later...hahah..

now rotting at work...so many things to do yet i'm free now to blog coz of the waiting time lorz...so slow....yawnz.......waiting for tml to come!!! MC DAY== FUN DAY!! going for my regular checkup then to shop and madagascar!!!!!! When will I watch Mr. & Mrs. Smith?!?!?

My roomie ask mi how to login to blogger!!!!! and she's searching the bloggerhelp to see how to login !!!hahaha....

For the past few days, the moment i step into my hostel room, i can only feel the huge amount of dust and dirt and stepping on. Mainly because of the stupid upgrading of the hall. Mon get back wif a new bookshelf....and tue, a new study lamp attached to the bottom of the bookshelf. I dont understand why they cant fix up everything at the same time. If that's the case, i wont haf to clean up the room twice, feel itchy all over coz of the dust twice, tired for 2 days, almost haf to wash my bedsheet twice and move all my stuff around twice!!!! stupid arrangement!! stupid management!!! Feeling super pissed bcoz I haf to clear up all these mess over n over again yet I'm moving out soon!!!!!!!! The hall reallie know how to make us of pple!!! Hate it!!!

todae at work, think sup is reallie too busy and occupied with the manual line testing that he keep asking me to repeat the same testing again n again. Moreover, ask mi to make up new solution when there's still abig bottle of it left and best of all, we are not using it lehz... so diao~~ the weird thing abt him is that, why we dont use a standard to do confirmation testing???instead he insist on using his unknown concentration sample to test....How to gauge whether its accurate?!??!!

Juz now ans a funnie phone call. The pple called fr a survey company saying that I won 2 tics to dunno which ever country or sentosa juz by helping them to fill up a survey form. Then say that they get my ID from dunno wad shopping ctr. Best siahz...i didnt leave my name to any places furthermore the time dont telly at all lorz....so i already know its a "cheat" lahz. The person ask mi to go down to dunno which out of place part of orchard to get the free package and haf to bring my hubby!! DIAO~~~ Wad hubby???I still SINGLE siahz. Working to that person means i'm married!!! so rubbish siahz..wad a stupid link lorz...then later her replied turn out to be, "oh, u r single. then i haf to tok to my boss abt it and get back to u if u still can claim the free package" hahah...

stupid huh???stupid life for a stupid me...............

Smile when u r happy...
Smile even more when u r sad...
then, everything will feel so much better...

only cry when there's a shoulder right beside u...
only so, u wont feel pitiful &
u will feel so fortunate until u wont feel like crying anymore...

ger, i'll alway be there for u....(think my shoulder is board n straight enuff...)
Is there such a shoulder for mi too?

Didnt blog for a few days already. Not because I'm lazy but because I dont haf the time to do so. Was busy going out wif different group of NTUCO frenz until so late that i cant even go online after all the outings.

Fri was the longest outing. We met at esplanade thai express at 7pm and left the place only at ard 11pm. After that we went for dessert and pool till almost 2am. Best of all, went back to ntu area for supper. CRAZY right????keep eating!!! Did almost nothing but eat only. SIAO SIAO le. hahaha... After that went back to ntu to get some of our stuff and finally reach home at 415am!! only able to sleep at 5am lorz....

Sat reach boon lay at like 11am went around buying food n drinks and finally to a performance in chinatown. hahah...damn funnie on the way to n fro lorz. Wenyi is a born joker lorz...cold joker siahz....cannot tahan her harz....reallie can make us laff until 6 packs harz. After performance, rush back to hall to bathe n change then went marina sq wif all the juniors. Funz!! We shared our dinner coz all of us were too full. After dinner went for acarde lorz. They are all very gd player lehz. especially Si ning, she basically know all the games and can play reallie well. Such a waste trip there coz the DDR not in working condition. If not Si ning can dance for us siahz. Heard that her DDR is the BEST!then play pool again lorz....was stupid tired till i didnt talk or smile at all. Think they reallie not comfortable to see me like that at all. Daddy asked mi a few times u very tired harz??? And haoyi keep trying to talk to me n make mi smile. Sorry huh. Reallie super tired that day till i no reaction at all things lahz.

Sun, pract half a day at hsinghai as usual. Then went down to east coast for cycling again. But this time round wif a different group of frenz. Thought i will be the slowest cyclist again lucky not...hahaha...after that went down to cityhall area for dinner....CITYHALL again siahz...3 days in a row siahz....manz...but all 3 days didnt shop at all lehz....so wasted!! I wanna go GSS harz...no money go see see also happy lorz. Ate at subway. The sandwich is nice but the ordering is super confusing. I cant understand wad the stupid guy is asking me at all. haha..cant catch wad he was saying. Think my ang moh too lousy le...haha..after dinner sit ard to tok till 10pm....n went HMV b4 heading home....reach home almost 12midnight....

haiz...my home like become my hotel le...only come back to sleep. haiz...but dunno why suddenly so many outings at a time lehz. So weird. Think everybody got sick of their nua life le..

yawnz..wkend and still lack of sleep coz i play too much le....yawnz....now waiting to register subject. Hope i can get wad i wan then! pray for mi!!!!!

Have been meeting up wif quite a few frenz recently or get news of them thru phone calling. Met up wif 2 of my frenz.. 1 whom I know for like 14 over years, another for like 4 years. They are my only few frenz that are reallie reallie close to me to the extend that we dont even haf to talk to understand each other type of frenz. Which I can say, they are the only few who know mi insde out without me telling them who i am directly wif my mouth. Reallie treasure this unqiue frenship wif them. No matter how seldom we meet up, we are always contacted right from our hearts and always there for each other!

These few gatherings i had wif them, reallie make mi feel rather sad and heartaching for wad they are going thru in their life now. Actually it shld be a time of enjoyment as we are all having our beautiful n relaxing holiday, yet they are sort of going thru and wanting to make one of the most difficult decision wif their loves one. From wad i heard from them, it reallie make mi ponder why we human being will haf such feeling. A feeling that may coz much pain and sufferings instead of love and understanding. Ya, its possessivesness...

They both haf a love partner who are consider to be the possessive type. One of their partner juz feel like "locking" my frenz up at home because she is getting more n more beautiful wif so much weight lost and more feminie dress sense. Another complaining that my frenz didnt accompany him enuff. But the fact is, the guy is not having holiday now, he need to go to sch and my fren only go out wif her frenz during his sch hrs, and back to accompany him when he off sch! Is it my frenz's fault to be born beautiful?? Is it my frenz's fault to go out wif her own frenz so that she can enjoy her last n only holiday left? I dont think so!! Guys, why are u so possessive?!?!?!

This is a qn that i might never be able to ans. Maybe because of my "lover of freedom" character that i haf. I may not be even able to understand a single bit of it at all anyway. With this qn in mind, I ask for the point of view from a guy frenz of mine. Like I had guessed, he said that guys become possessive because they lose confidence in themselves due to the fact that gers now are more capable, unable to face up wif the reality that there are much better guys out there than him, maybe unable to accept the fact that his ger might leave him for someone else. True?

But why didnt those guys realise that there are pple who cant stand possessiveness? Isnt there a saying, the tighter u put the string, the easier n faster it will break? (haha....sound rather mechanics..but its true that such things happen wad!) Negative Feedback mechanism here. All along, I thought that loving 1 person is to know that he/she is enjoying his/her life happily? Why does it turn out to be "owning" this somebody who you love and not giving he/she his/her freedom?

Ger, dont ever do such silly thing again! Your life is much more worthwhile than someone who dont know how to treasure you and actually dont reallie understand you much! There are still so many pple here by ur side, showing and showering you with love and care!! A boyfrenz can be important, but its not everything in life. Learn to let go when it's time. Even though this "letting go" period might take ages but at least you are learning to accept reality. Be strong! Time will slowly heal you....you will be alright, ok?

*smile*

yesterday was a rather slack day for me. Did nothing much at work in the morning coz of the slow making up process done by my sup....hahah....but wadever...the slower he is, the happier i am!!ehehhe....basically other than work, i didnt do anything except eating...hahaha....after dinner at a coffee shop near city harvest, went back to hall.

OH MAN!! when i back in hall i was stunned by the number of antz on the wall directly outside my room!!! I dont need antz as my door guardsss!!!!! At first tot only outside my room...BUT, there are more in the room lorz....my table was invaded wif antz harz!!! Was so pissed that i forgot i actually haf pesticides and guess wad i did? I wrapped my hand wif the magic cleaner cloth and keep slamming each n everyone of them...so cruel huh...but no choice lehz....Juz when i saw more antz on the floor and are climbing up onto me, i finally remember I haf pesticides!!!! hahaha.....*spray spray* spray all the edges of the wall wif it....any sight of antz will be flooded in the pool of dunno wad poisonous water for them....finally i clear them all off...and for more precaution, i put those antz posion all round the room as well...ahaha...hopefully the same thing wont happen again...

But, i reallie find this weird lehz...the antz are attracted to wad???there isnt any sweet i my room lehz...and all my food are dry food like cup noodle and can food siahz....how to attract antz????best of all, the place when i put my food is almost like antz-free siahz...eerrmmm....weird....or izzit there some dead body of wadever insect and the antz are attracted to it???but y so many...eermm..think cannot use many haf to use much....erks....

Of coz after killing all the antz, i started clearing off their bodies lorz...and ended up packing my stuff preparing to bring them home soon coz i'm gonna be hall-less soon....haiz....sad....sad....sad....