August 2007 is the most "exciting" month of my whole life till now. So much so much had happened.

Its so saddening to feel the lost of touch of fren who were once so close with. We used to talk about anything under the sun, but now we feel totally like stranger and become so ke qi. So bad until I can be at a lost of word of wad to say. It hurts. So much. ya........reallie....even till now.

She left.....maybe for the better coz she dont haf to suffer anymore. But I will no longer get to see her and hear from her. I was still thinking that everything will be ok or she wont leave so fast coz she was still responsing, holding on to my hand and wave gdbye to me. Its kind of mentally prepared but still sad when everything reallie come true.

I decided...on my life....on my lifestyle....on my future....I hope it will be for the better.

12noon 24th Aug 07 recieved the call.
Rush off to TTSH but was too late.
She left us at 1118 to be exact.
Left peacefully without any of us around.
But at least she saw all of us the night before for 1 last time.
It shld be something better for her, at least she dont haf to suffer anymore.
Mama (my grandma), byebye................

Thanks for all ur care and concern. I'm ok. reallie.

I miss u.
I miss calling u.

BBB..

Went back to work on thurs. But was still feeling terrible. Lucky everything was still smooth la. Manage to meet up wif yen for his farewell dinner. Why are all my frenz leaving?!??!?! sad case la....but nvm...looking forward for their return in 3 months time. I wonder how will things to be when they are back. Will feel distant or juz as normal? Life is reallie full of changes. So much that there's nothing that can be done. I miss all of u!!!! Reallie sorry that I wasnt able to send u all off la...haiz...

Fri went off early to dentist. Put on my lower jaw braces. Painful!!! Its scratching against my tongue. And until now I still cant reallie eat any solid food. It juz feel weird leh... I dunno how to bite properly lehz.. I dunno where to place my food. Hhaha.. I dunno how to smile also siah..hahaha..Fireworks on fri is so NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it!! So much memories! So much funz! Funniest of all, we went for "high tea" at supper time!! ahhahaha....

Sat at 1st wanna go yoga. But my cough was so bad till I lost my voice. So rot at home till I go for massage. Hehhe...comfy siah...but no more money to sign up for package la..ahhaha.. then off to meet my frenz...wooooo......got home so late again la...ahahaha...FUN!! hee...

Event for todae: Stay home n rot! Later must go see doc liao.......MC again? haiz.... SO SICK!

Just finished reading my frenz's blog and now its my turn to write something abt my life since birth ba... hahaha... Since I'm so call quite free now la.. okok...nothing much...can be quite boring for some... and its gona be a long entry. Here u goes..............


A meant to be dec baby came into this world earlier by close to 2 wks due to lossening of umbilical cord to the placenta. So that's when I was born. 30th Nov 1983, 903am. Everything appear to be normal like any other baby. Juz that I'm smaller in size and weigh as compared to my siblings. HHahha..But what's left for my mother was an ugly long centipede look alike scar due to the stupid doc!!! Well....during the 1st ever checkup, I was diagnose to be abnormal which of coz scare the hell out of my mother. This also show how lousy that doc is again right? Well, I would not say wad is it coz I think all of my fren know abt my case la. hahaa...


Ok...so part of me growing up is spent for doc appointment and more doc appointment. A matter of fact, I was difficult to bring up coz every few minutes, my mother would haf to check if I'm still alive with all my fingernail turning blue and cold cold body I haf. I was so skinny and small size that all my neighbour tot I wasnt well fed. But lucky there was a nice aunt who gave my mother a secret recipe that actually make mi look so much better after eating it. Hhahaha...


So there I goes...growing bit by bit...haha...and reallie bit by bit that u dont see much difference la..and soon I admit into kindergarten. Its where I get to play with lots of kids and I was that few who dont cry and instead ask my mother to go home coz I think its very lose face to haf parents there with me during class. hhaha...well...cant remember all the frenz I made there. coz I dunno why my memories only seems to begin in pri sch. Hhahaha...


Its 1 or 2yr before I get into pri school my parents was told that I dont haf to go thru any operation coz everything seems to be going well. So my life in Ai Tong School begin. Getting to know my 1st frenz who we are still in contact until now. Hhaha.. People always say we look like siblings. Of coz not forgetting the 4 other buddies, Yanling, Huijiao, Shihui, Lisi, who we always hang out together eating curry potato n chicken in plastic bag!!! Playing 4 stones n hopscotch. Hhahaha...my maths in sch was horrible no matter how I study, I will be scoring only 53!!! its like a curse la.. hahaa.. the rest of my result also not fantastic at all. But nvm la... got myself ended up in EM2 is good enuff. Hhaha...Due to my health, I didnt grow much for that 6yrs. Hhaha..so graduating from pri sch at a height of 136cm which is like 20cm shorter than all my peers. hahaha...Maybe coz every PE lesson for mi is a wallet watching session instead of all the running n jumping.

Eermm...result wasnt gd at all, so I got into an Ah beng school where police car will come in everyday. Or u will hear ambulance taking student away after a fight. Hhaha...well.. its non other than Bishan Park Secondary School la,. Hhahah...Still remember my 1st few frenz was Serene and Eileen. We joined the Art Cluh together but after we stream to different class, we didnt even talk already. Hhaha.. Well was glad that I fight my way thru to the top class taking the best subject combination that my sch is willing to offer. A bit disappointed that no biology is offered. Eerm...but nvm la...just try my best in wadever I studying lor. I still remember gossiping wif Wenda and hellen. My best fren in sec 2 were Anna and Ruaddha (cant remember how to spell her name!) As for sec 3 n 4 will be jasmine, Huishan, lansi, lingying, shuyi, char, Eliz, sarah, tessa, heckshan, shurong. I remember we each donate a fish to the sch newly set up pond and offer to feed them daily that time. Hahha.. Well...its also a year that I realise the need of having frenz, understanding n helpful frenz I would say. I needed them so badly after my heart surgery when I was sec 4. They reallie help mi so much so much that no amt of thanks is enuff. If not for them, I would not haf pass my O's. Thanks!!! Especially Jasmine!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its so fortunate that I'm still in contact with most of those that I mentioned. Of coz not forgetting our sisters, szegay, weiming, alex and terence! ahhahaha.....

Finally grad fr BPS le. moving on to 1st 3 months in YJC. eerrm...didnt like the environment so after 1st 3 months I change to NYJC. Hhaha...took up biology which actually tries to kill myself wif it. Hhaha... I still remmeber the long hrs looking into the microscope doing all the cells drawing or rather copying? ahhaha.. Remember all the naggy I get from my chem tutor but actually it all does me gd. Hehheh....no wonder my titration skill is so solid la. hahaha.. Of coz not forgetting my nyjcco. Was so busy with it till I didnt reallie haf time to study la.. Hhahaa...taking up almost all the job that no one is taking care of. Finally brought up the 1st participation in SYF as orchestra status. Hhaha..and well, only 3 experience players la...getting a bronze is gd enuff la...heee...Thanks shuyu, felicia, clarissa, Jasmine for spicing up my class life. Thanks Cailing, jialin, ruoxin, kenneth, jiajia, ruofang, yanhong, xianghui for all the rubbish we went thru together in nyjcco. HHAhahaa...

Ok la....result was reallie reallie sucky till I need to apply for poly for backup. But in the end, I took up materials engineering in ntu. This is a place that reallie change me sooo much from wad I intended to be. Hhaha.. First I became independant after staying in hostel and taking care of my roomie shiyun la...hahaa. Then I start learning physics and all related stuff that's killing me. I nvr understand n figure them out but i also dunno how I pass them actually. hHhahaa...Still remember how puke blood haoyang, changyuan and bohan were when they tried to teach me la..ahhaha..I love my final yr only. Studying wad I like. Studying wad I want. Hhaha.. I love my FYP also. Coz i simply love practical!! hahaa..those overnight stay in lab or vday wif ah sem. Hahah...interesting. And thanks to choo, jasmine, haowei, simon, ade, shiyun, teekin, jianrong, wu &wongs, fyp lab mate and all other coursemate for making my life in MSE such a great one!!! All MSE pple are great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! crappy!!!!!!!!!!!! interesting!!!!!!!!!! hahaha..

In there, I join ntuco. Its fun to haf all those crappy frenz ard. like debbie, blonde, yinghui, seening, zhixiong, changyuan, zhiqiang, suqing, kailin, kaka. HHAhaha...they reallie spice up my yr 2 life. HHAaha..of coz not forgetting how much effort we put in to expand ntuco. Thou we know alot of things will happen after doing that, we hope that they will be understanding enuff to think for the gd of the orchestra ba. Hhaha..That's when my ah nua family n holy clan start to spilt out. saddening but no choice. But nvm la...life is full of changes and it feel gd to see NTUCO growing. Juz when I was thinking there nothing more worthwhile to stay, I get to know the nellers!! ahaha... they are 1 whole bunch of maddy! They love playing, eating n more eating. hahaha... sining, yiing, wenyi, haoyi, sheya, haoyang, agl, yuhui were the basic members. But it nvr fails to expand till now with jing, junyen, junqi, kaiyu, yuqin in as well! ahhaha...I LOVE THE BEIJING TRIP, NTUCO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally wore the gown last yr. 1st time being rejected due to my health status. It was reallie saddening and a big blow to me in some sense. But lucky I manage to stand up fast enuff. MIss out the chance to work and learn in US coz of family issue. But well, already worked for 8-9months. Everything changed. I dunno is it for better or worse. But its tiring working 12hrs daily with such little pay. I dunno wad I wan anymore actually. In fact I juz simply wan to slack. But of coz its impossible with the loan hanging high up there. Well, can someone juz feed mi???? hahahaha....

I love my family.
I love my frenz.

Thanks everyone!!!!! I cant imagine how terrible my life can be without all of u!!! =)

Lyrics of my blog song. Rather interesting and meaningful I would say.

恋爱症候群 作词：黄舒骏　作曲：黄舒骏

关于恋爱症候群的发生原因　
至今仍然是最大一个谜
不管性别年龄职业体重学历长相和血型　
没有一个人可以免疫
有些专家学者研究后相信　
恋爱是内分泌失调所引起
却有别人认为恋爱属于滤过性病毒　
像感冒无药可救但会自动痊愈
不管你同不同意　
自古到今许多例子证明
恋爱不但是一种病态　
它还可能是一种变态
一般发病后的初期反应会开始改变一些生活习性
洗澡洗得特别干净　
刷牙刷得特别用力　
半夜突然爬起来弹钢琴
有人每天站在阳台对路人傻笑　
有人突然疯疯癫癫　
突然很安静 有人一脸痴呆　
对着镜子咬着指甲打喷嚏　
有人对着小狗骂三字经
女人突然改变发型　
男人开始每天练着哑铃
食欲不振歇斯底里四肢萎缩
神经过敏发抖抽筋都出现在这时期
随着病情越来越变本加厉　
人会变得格外敏感勇敢和恶心
写的说的唱的都像天才诗人一般才华洋溢　
愈肉麻愈觉得有趣
有人恋爱之后每天躲在厕所哭泣　
有人开记者会宣布恋爱的消息
有人总是喜欢两个人躲在黑漆漆的地方　
像做了不可告人的事情
每天忙着找人算命　
挖空心思改变自己配合对方的习性
把每天都当作纪念日　
把自己当作纪念品
每天漫无目的的腻在一起　
言不及意也觉得好有趣
走着坐着躺着趴着都形影不离　
像是两人三脚又像连体婴
心里想的只有爱你爱你爱你爱你　
也不管家里米缸有没有米
也不管路上有人示威抗议　
只管爱你
心里想的只有爱你爱你爱你爱你　
也不管海峡两岸统一问题
也不管衣索匹亚多少难民　
只管爱你 经过一段轰轰烈烈热恋时期　
不久就会开始渐渐痊愈
两人开始互相厌倦　
互相攻击对方缺点　
所有甜蜜都随风而去
然后开始从错觉和误解中清醒　
惊讶自己为何如此不聪明
为了爱情不管一切　
不顾父母朋友姐妹兄弟　
开始感到后悔不已
然后开始感到疲惫沉闷气喘心悸牙痛头痛梦呓
然后是精神不济瞳孔放大脾气暴燥四肢麻痹　
终于受不了要分离 虽然结果颇令人伤心　
了解之后也没什么了不起
爱情终究是握不住的云　
只是我想要告诉你
哦......在我落寞的岁月里　
你的温柔解脱我的孤寂
带给我深深的狂喜　
如此颤动着我的心灵
轻轻诉说爱你爱你爱你爱你　
不管是黑夜或是黎明
不管是梦中或是清醒　
深深爱你
我要对你说爱你爱你爱你爱你　
不管是黑夜或是黎明
不管是梦中或是清醒　
深深爱你
多么幸福　
让我遇见你　
呜......

We are all in red!!! well....i'm short...hahaa

Ok...cant be bothered to get someone else to take for us.

All of them haf lion...only mi fishy fishy fish... =(

Nice shot huh? was too bored waiting la...

Finally begin. This yr's most disappointing thing is I cant hear the sound make by the boots when they stamp their feet!!!! The troops are smaller i think and the stage is not solid enuff..hahaa

Wooo....flying flag. Remember last time I can always see it from my AMK house during NDP la...

Must go NDP wif a bunch of enthu pple. Else its so boring. haha..we are the most on pple among the group sitting there lor...make us look CRAZY!!!hahaa

Lalal....Finally a group photo!!!

We love Singapore! (Muahaha..the floating stage is ours)

Our nice tattoo. Eermm..how come 3 hands only?!?! coz........haha...u see la..

The CMI one. already like that right after pasting it on la...haha...fate!!

Ok..that's all ba....wan more photo...go to my usual webby ba...

For the past 1 wk, I haf been working until 10something pm almost everyday without fail. Was kind of glad that I can be so busy so that I can think less. Less meaning at least when I'm at work, there's juz no time for any other things.

But when I'm all alone waiting for hair to dry and the moment before I fall asleep, everything that's troubling me juz crash on me all over again. Set me thinking so much till I could not take it. It hurts. And of coz all these make mi realise how impt supportive frenz are. Thanks for those smses of care n concern. Thanks for accompanying me when I needed someone.

I wonder how would I feel if I'm to be in those places that give me sooo much memories. Maybe I should try out one of these days when I'm free. I need some time for myself I think. I wonder how you will feel as well.

Memories...
Is all that I can haf.

Friendship...
Is all that I can ask for.

Happiness...
Is all that I can hope for.

Anything else...
Is all that I can dream of.